Wednesday, October 29
Stress.I cannot deny it already. I'm feeling the stress coming in.
I'm really really stressed.
Not doing that well for cartography assignments is worrying especially when you stare around the class and think that everyone is a genius and is so gonna do well for the paper.
Not doing well for math term paper is worrying especially when you are taking the second time although you do not know how well people did for it because this is the second time and you should be having a edge higher than everybody.
Not able to start revising soon because assignments and projects are not finished and will never be finished until the deadline is here which leaves less than or approximately 3 weeks to study for papers. On top of that, papers are just back to back.
These are giants. Giants that i faced in school. I must be crazy and am a big fat (maybe skinny) liar if i claimed to say that i am not stressed. I don't think God says that we should be not real to our feelings. I think one will feel stressed and then try to deal with problems in the way He wants us to and learn from it. Once again, it is time to be David.
I wonder how many times i have to learn continuously in my life with regards to such things. Maybe forever for my entire life - we are gems to be polished and perfect till the day we go back. I am not saying all these and contradicting myself. I am really stressed and i am just gonna blog it all out and be real to what i feel. But it should not stop there. I'm gonna win with God.
"The Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid." - Hebrews 13:6.
Pray for me please.
Heli Dont ask me why 7:44 PM
Monday, October 13
Thank You God.
Its been a loooonggg time since i had that feeling. The feeling like you are in a garden where what surrounds you is just flowers, pretty ones and some falling down. And your heart is so full of that something like its going to explode - filled with joy. Joy from somebody who loves you so much and He just gave you something that you wanted badly. Just like a little girl that finally got her favourite candy. Your face couldn't hide away all that and you are just smiling all the way. you felt like you just want to see someone familiar and give him or her a hug. Woww.. it was really like on cloud nine or ten...
i passed my driving. =)
18 demerit points. naggy tester. raining. did not drive for past 2 weeks before test. It was all from and by the grace and mercy of God and His favour. If not for all these, if not for Him, i would not have passed. I would not have been able to feel like what i wrote above. Only You, have the power and ability and the heart to do that for me. I am so in awed of You for what You have done for me. Although it is just a test, but it has much more meanings attached to it for me. I will remember and i felt like i know you a little more. I love you God. Praise and honour unto You! =D
My QT this morning:
Prayer is something we need. God may not need to be told even as it is written in Matt 6:8, but we need to tell Him. It is not to influence Him to give us what we need. But prayer is designed to influence us. Prayer may not need to be about begging for blessings, but is a blessing itself.
my prayer now is that, "may i praise You and smile and love You still when i'm going through the hard times. Praise you Jesus."
Thank you for being my King who loves me.
Heli Dont ask me why 5:39 PM
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.: Thoughts :.
I know i have to let you go..
Everyone tells me this is so...
See, my life has stopped since
You passed away
Sometimes i can't bear it
Even for one more day..
Thoughts of you consume me
Every second of everyday
I just want it back you know
The way things used to be...
In my life you held the key
And now i have just your memory
And though this is not enough for me
This is how it has to be...
I need to laugh again without feeling guilty
You aren't here...
I feel so alone & full of tear
It's so terribly hard when all that's
Left is tears...
Mum, i wish you are here
Just plainly listening to me...
I promise to keep you safe
Where you have always been of course
In my heart, that's the place...